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Fanfiction Theater #15: Goofy in “Burston’s Sorrow”

August 17, 2011

People do many strange things while sleepwalking, they have been documented as driving, cooking food, even committing murder. One “Scott Fibula” one ups these by claiming that he writes while sleepwalking. He claims this story is one such sleep-novel.

Note: This story features ADULT LANGUAGE. I have decided to censor this, so whenever a character says [REDACTED] that means they are swearing.

Also, while Goofy does have a son in the Disney cannon, his name is Max. I have no idea where Mr. Fibula got “Burston” from.

Burston’s Sorrow

by Scott Fibula

Goofy sip his mocha angry. 

Mocha angry, available NOW at your local Starbucks!

That damn detective knew about his weakess. Now he might have to kill himself. He had moleste 7 (seven) banks in the tri-county area.

To this day I am unsure why Mr. Fibula thought it necessary to write a number, then in parenthesis its spelled version, whenever he mentions numbers in this story.

 He took out his revolver. It was 1984 garnad. He pointed toward his face and shot. as the bullet his brain he thought about the banks. He stole there innocense.

Just in case you thought “moleste” was a fancy way of saying he robbed the banks this should clarify things. Goofy sexually assaulted 7 (seven) banks. Here is the shocking dramatization:

 ‘if i could be a bettr pokemon trainer,,,” he thought. His son burston yelled at his corpse DAD NO YOU [REDACTED]

At his funferal dolnald said to burston ‘he was a good type of man’. ‘u can’t understand meeeeeeee!’ screamed burston ayn rand to the town.

Ayn Rand?

, author of Atlas Shrugged, one of my favorite books, is in town! That’s a far more interesting plot idea than this half-baked teen angst story.
Also, a “funferal” sure sound more fun than funeral, I want one of those!

There was a linkin park concert wich was his favorite liked the music but he did not feel better. his dad shot hims face and let him alone. he went home and listen to slipknot and cut himself. His mom said do not be sad be an awsome pokemon. ‘no you [REDACTED]’ shouted burston; and went to his car. he drove the 90 (ninety) miles and shot a gun as well.

Again with the number followed by it’s spelling. Why do you do this Mr. Fibula? Also this woman is clearly not Goofy’s wife, as no real mother would tell her son to turn into a different species from A DIFFERENT FRANCHISE!

 He would be an awesom pokemon trainer. He took out his pokemon and thru them at the ground. the awresome pokemon came out and saw he was sad. He had wabbafet, squirtle, dialgia, palkia, chimchar and darkshadow which was at hot topic.

I stopped following the pokemon fad in early grade school, so I’m not too familiar with some of these pokemon, so I’ll just make up what they look like for this portrait of Burston and his team!

Burstno took the pokemon to a forest and collided up a tree. at the tree there was a pokemon. he fell down into a hole.

There is so much wrong with this passage. How does one collide up up a tree? Why was there a pokemon at the tree? And how did “Burstno” manage to go from the top of a tree inot a hole?

 There was the band suicide silence and all there pokemon. ‘Burston we will hlp you be an awesome trainer and a heero!’they said. they trained pokemon for an hour until the tournament.

At there was a really [REDACTED] big fight and they all fought and burston wrote a song.

Burston killed the dialgia by punching it really hard. The other pokemon saaid SKEEEEEE but thurston said ‘go back to work [REDACTED]!’

He killed one of his own pokemon? I’m sorry Burston but if you keep team-killing there’s no way you will ever become an “awresom pokemon trainer”. Also what does “SKEEEEEE” mean?

Burston won the fight and killed every pokemon. He was an awesome trainer and he killed his hhiilary duff and a rabbit.

DETECTIVE

That is not an error. I did not forget to post the rest of the story. It really does end with just the word “detective” in all capital letters. See people, this is why sleepwalking is bad!

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One Comment
  1. I love these MSTs. I especially love your interpretation of the new pokemon…

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