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Fanfiction Theater #10: Master Chief in “Halo: Time Paradox”, Part 6

August 17, 2011
Despite part 6’s title, this is not the final battle. In fact the next section is ALSO called “The Final Battle”.

Part 6: The Final Battle

Robin, Master and daughter went up and reached the king’s room. He was expectng:

“Ah, you finally came! Come in and join me in a banquet.” said the king.

They just painted the walls with the organs and “stmochs” of his guards, blew up the Sheriff of Nottingham’s head and killed a widow for good measure and now the king wants to have a banquet with these maniacs?

“King Arthur, you think you you escape yihs time?” said Ronib.

Oh,m don’t be desperat, let’s eat.” said King Arthur.

For the supposed villain, King Arthur is a pretty good host.

Master, daughter and Robin seated o n the dinnig tabel. It’s was full of good food, shrimps, lobsters and octopus, very fresh, take from the sea. They eated and got full.

What happened to “killing the corrupt king and taking back The Land of Themselves”?

“So Robin, why you want to kill me?” asked Kinh Artur.

“You steal the money from our people!” asaid Robin.

“But i invest the money in scholls and education.”

“Yes, but only for your family!”

“Yeah, that’s a point.”

I think this is the only part of the story that is intentionally meant to be funny.

Them, the King got up from his dinnig chair and said:

“Time ti die Robin!”

King arthur took a flaming whip from under the table and slashed it in robin’r direction. The daughter went very faster and put Robuin from harm’s way.

“Damn!” cried Arthur,.

The daughter them jumped to Arthur and startd to punch him, but arthur was fast and threw it whip on the chandelier and flew all over the room.

“Come here you coward” cried daughter.

Athur them whiped from the chadelier everyone, and hurt everyone, but Master picked his Claymore and slashed Arthuer whip with a big blow:

“Ahh, my whip!” and arthur run to a cecret chamber behing his throne and looked himself in.

“Get out Arthur, to face you dead!” cried Robin.

Bt them, the door opened, and rom it, a big mean fivsix feet tall exoesquleton with arthur inside emerged from the chamber. The exoesqueleton had six arms with laser and swords, swinging menacingly to Master and his crew.

“Look out Master! He is deadly enemiy now!” shouted daughter.

So Arthur wasn’t a deadly enemy when he had a magical fire-whip that could cut through anything?

The Exo-Arthur moved towerds them and started to shhot laser.

“AHA AHA AHA AH!” he laughed maniacally.

Exo-Arthur, artist’s depiction:

Robin diodn’t knew what to do, he never confrounted suxh a big monster in hes life, he was not prepared to face the future. Buyt master ans daughter had experience, so they enginneered a plan. Daughter jumped behing the monster and started to kick it in the ass. Arthr felt th e pain,m because the exoesqueletor was hardwired oin his brrain.

The suit is hardwired so that Arthur feels it’s pain? That’s the stupidest design flaw ever.

Msater them kicked in with all his for in the groin, making arthur face go purple. It was very hurtful, but arthur didn’t gave hope way, and wen t to attack them, swing his sword s and shooting the lasers in every direction. The roof of the castle wars crumbling and falling, and the herioes had to put themselves appart to not get a rock on head.

TH castle starteeeed to shake with so much bruises. Masaster and daughter them chared n the Exo-arthur direction, and Master with Claymore and daughter with the blow, punctured arthur’s skull witha final lethal blow, making a hole in his front nose and to his neck, spewing arthur’s brains all over england.

(Insert joke about England stereotypes being caused by the entire country being covered in Arthur’s brain matter)

Robin the said:

“Quiclky master and daughter, the Merlin is inside the chamber, he can tke you back to your land!”

The three went to th sectret chamber, but nho Merlin. They only saw a strange cricular device. It was Coveant technology! All the time, there was now Merlin, only future tech.

How did covenant technology end up in King Arthur’s castle? Especially considering that they didn’t even invent the time machine that caused all this mess, but found it only a strange planet and like it because it “was big, and looked dangerous”.

They them activated the portal befoe the castle crumbled in ruins, and them did farewell to Robin:

“Thanks Robin, without uoy we can’t back home!” said Master.

“Thnaks too Robin, you’re a gentleman…!” said daughter.

“Farewell my friends, now, when you want to go back, you can stay in my castle!” said Robin, the now king of England!

I don’t quite think that’s how succession of the throne works. Also I do not at all remember this Robin Hood story.

Master and daughter entered the machine.

Stay tuned for the shocking conclusion to “Halo: Time Paradox”!
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